In this episode, Reut comes back! Yay. But she had a bad time in India. Boo. But before we can process that, it’s off to the Shiva house where everyone can rehash all their issues: Amir and Yifat still have not slept together and its way awks, Nati and his family are not on the best of terms, and Hodaya misses her fam and bonds with Nati’s dad. Cute, and it made us a bit sad. Meanwhile, Hodaya tries to resist sketchy bartender but fails when they role play shidduch, which for some reason is like the hottest thing ever for those datlashim. As everyone knows shiva is when all the real secrets come out, and this one is a doozy. Bring on the drama!
Realer than an Israeli guy touching you for “pikuach nefesh”
-Amir watching Yifat sleep. Ever since Pacey and Joey on Dawson’s Creek, in the television universe it is known that watching someone sleep means true love. + 15
-Also Amir and Yifat are still not touching and it seems to be taking a toll on the relationship. Yifat describes them more as roommates then anything else and they seem to be short tempered. + 10. Welcome to married life, bitches.
However, Yifat finally got rid of those hideous pink pajamas and got some sexy but still tznius white pjs. Good move. +5.
Yifat has Rav Shapira on speed dial. No, she has 2 Rav Shapira’s on speed dial. +100. Also +10 for him responding via text.
Also, for those of you who remember Rav Aviner’s shout out last season, We bet they switched rabbis because Rav Aviner keeps saying srugim is assur. He’s done it twice. + 5 for us, because we pay attention to these things.
-Reut is back. YES! Her story is a little spotty but it is true the pressure to have “the best time ever” when you are traveling can be kind of grating. And yes an Israeli taxi driver would heckle you on lack of drug use. + 100
-Fact. The more edel the girl the bigger the bitch. Nati’s sister finds out that Hodaya is the daughter of her fav Rav and clearly zeroing in on Hodaya’s insecurities gives one zinger after another. “If I had a father like that I would never leave home.” “From my father’s house to my husbands house.” “Your sister is off the derech. that must be so hard.” All of these done with the softest voice and sweetest smile. Also, she doesn’t even ask how Hodaya is doing. This whole part is so freaking real. +20
-Nati’s reactions are pretty believable. Its not like one tragedy will make him a saint. And shivas are really tough and annoying, having to listen to everyone who wants to talk, answering uncomfortable questions when you would rather be crying in a corner. Nati’s increasing annoyance with everything and everyone is believable. Even when he steals Roi’s weepy Shma story, which is kinda a dick move. But Roi one ups him by telling him that Ima wanted to know where he was when she died. That was way harsh, Tai. + 30 for showing how Shiva brings out the worst in…everyone.
-Flirting at Shiva: Shiva is so awful and awkward that flirting is really the only way to deal, even with the lingering guilt that come with it. Trust us, it happens, and is gloriously awkward. However, it also means that any future relationship that comes out of it is fraught with so much baggage, which makes for horrible real life trauma (trust us, Shayna knows) but for great television +10.
-Yifat still knows that Nati is allergic to eggplant!! You never forget the dislikes of old loves. Sigh. + 10 for an excellent reference to the first episode, and showing us that Yifat still has a soft spot for everyone’s favorite surgeon.
-When Nati “jokes” how Amir could have married Yifat, he’s not kidding. Ahh, the best kind of jokes. +10.
-Like any good shiva, there is more food than anyone knows what to do with. anyone. +5
-Reut and Roi bonding over dead parents and awkward shiva visitors: Anyone who has one knows its an instant bond, and how annoying those people who think they know everything–even worse than the awkward people who don’t say anything. The whole group sitting around in painful silence was awesomely accurate. What can you say in these situations? +5
-Hodya’s day after remorse. Not only did she wake up having had sex. She woke up having had sex with skeevy rocker DatLash. You can already tell DatLash will be bad news. He uber-clingy (i forgot my tank top) and needy. Sure the phone date set up at the end was cute but in reality he is prob a guy who has a fetish with other DatLash’s. Run Hodaya Run fast. +5
-Hodaya has to explain to Nati’s Aba how Shabbat meals work, even though Nati has ostensibly lived there for a while. Parents never understand. But by far the best part is when she claims that everyone cooks. Dad knows this is impossible, and asks if Nati cooks. Hodaya has to fess up, and admits that Nati always brings the drinks. Men always get away with that, even when they are 30. + 100 for an accurate representation of the gender roles of Shabbat meal prep in singles communities, and how our lives are on TV and we LOVE IT
-Even marriage has not made Yifat less annoying. She is still bossing around her friends and freaking out if they are two minutes late or don’t want to say “HaMakom.” When Hodaya forgoes the phrase with Nati and opts for a hug instead, Yifat, perhaps overcome with jealousy that Hodaya gets to touch Nati, snottily goes into frum mode and shoots the pasuk out in one breath. Chill out before Amir discovers you are a major tool. +10
-Also, Yifat thinks everyone is sad because they are single, even thought she has been married for 24 hours. This is CLASSIC of newly marrieds, especially if they are frum–they think all problems relate to a lack of a spouse. Dear Yifat, Nati is sad because HIS MOM DIED, not because you didn’t marry him. + 15.
Faker than Reut not having done drugs once in India
-Laizy seems to not be a fan of the backstory. We don’t know how everyone found out, how sick Nati’s mom was, etc– although hints come through here and there. (Also, not like Yifat and Amir had anything better to do.) For example, we learn that Reut was gone for six months–thanks Hodaya for that. Also, perfect dating/engagement time for Orthos re: Amir and Yifat. Although it annoys us, it allows us to wait even more anticipation for the next episode, like when we fall even more in love with Nati’s little brother who is both in touch with his feelings and still cocky like Big Bro. Wash.
– Ok. Speaking of Nati’s younger brother. Where did he come from? This happens in family sitcoms sometimes where a younger sibling just appears, but usually this is reserved for younger characters. How old is he? What does he do? It seems like there is going to be some action between him and Reut– which would be cool if he is 30 but bad if he is a Bnei Akiva madrich in high school. – 5
-Amir has established himself as the frummest person on the show (except when he couldn’t stop hooking up with the ex.) So why did he say a random sheva brachot, take our Lord’s name in vain, and then not even say bore pri hagefen before he sips that nuptial wine? We appreciate the effort, but it seemed out of line and oddly non halachic. Hope marriage doesn’t lead you down the dark side. –25
– Also stuff between Amir and Yifat are super awkward. Which should be believable but Amir is on his second marriage so he should be able to handle all this new living with a member of the opposite sex stuff more readily. Also there would be SOME sexual tension. – 10
-Reut came back for the first day of Sheva Brachot, but not the wedding? Weird. We suspect that she couldn’t handle more of her friends getting married. Also, she seemed not to know about Nati’s mom. What secrets is she hiding from India?–10.
-Yifat can’t pee in front of Amir? To quote a brilliant friend and blog reader: “It would be one thing if it was pooping. But peeing? Come on. What? She never peed during a shabbat meal? like, homegirl is on the rag.” Truer words were never spoken. Yifat, have you remembered the whole having sex part of marriage? You better get with the program. However, Yifat is kinda pyscho and it seems like frum girls pull this shit all the time . -5
-Also, Hodaya is the voice for reason when she tells them to stop fighting at the Shiva House. -5, because if Hodaya knows whats up, everyone else must be seriously illing.
-STILL no steamy yifat amir loving. come on people! –50.
So this episode was super real and the only holes being more of background information that will probs be revealed as time goes on. While last week’s episode was a total game changer, this week’s gave us insight into what the rest of the season will be like– Yifat and Amir’s marriage woes, Reut’s new romance and Hodaya’s grappling with her new identity.
But seriously. WHAT HAPPENED IN INDIA, REUT?
Did we leave anything out? Do you like sketchy bartenders? leave your comments!
In case you need a Srugim boost. Check out Amos Tammam’s (Amir) parsha clips on youtube. They are gloriously wonderful and you can see where Amir gets his Halachic chops.
Until next week,
Shayna and Sarah