Wow. Wow. Wow. The theme of our episode is mekach taut, which is a halachic term for a commercial (or marital cause Judaism is like that) transaction done under false pretenses. This episode is all about what happens when the other person isn’t quite what you expected, and what you do with that information. Amir continues his exploration into his Sephardi-ness and tests Yifat, Roi finally comes out to Reut, and Hodaya reveals to Asaf that she is a bit older than what she originally said and gets sad AND AVRI COMES BACK AND WE SCREAMED IN JOY. That alone would make it amazing, but combined with the gut wrenching emotions all around and the return of the old Sephardi man trio, we think it was the best episode yet all season. Let the recap begin.
Realer than realizing you are gay in hesder
When Hodaya leaves Asaf and goes to that weird bar in the middle of the night, the weird bartender who tries to pick her up is wearing a t shirt that says “Larger than Life.” It is a well known fact that Israelis love bizarrely English suggestive t shirts that don’t really make any sense. +25
Nati makes an attempt to be more understanding of Roi, but still tells him to lie to Reut. Ahh, Nati. You are still only concerned about yourself and your own rep–as Roi calls it when he says that Nati the successful doctor is embarrassed to have a gay brother. +10 for continued character consistency
AVRI AVRI AVRI AVRI. Let’s break this down into a few points: So Asaf pretends to be ok with Hodaya being old, but clearly isn’t. Also, he’s lame and doesn’t want to party and just wants some play, pretty much like every “younger guy” ever. So she goes to the bar and calls a mysterious person out of the blue and it is the best person ever, Avri the professor. Major points for how the camera was all fuzzy so we were like omg is that him and then it was and we were happy and he even remembered her birthday! Nice building of anticipation. +a million
Next: The all night talk. This reminded us of Before Sunset where old lovers talk about life, etc, etc. We’ve all been there–the deep talks with the ex when you realize the he’s really perfect and you are doing everything possible not to cry when he talks about the girl he started dating right after they broke up and how he brags that she’s “stable.” which is either a big dis to you or perhaps the best thing ever if that’s all he can think to say about her. Also, Avri we still love you but you look old, which we think the camera people did on purpose. Don’t worry, the grey stubble only makes you look hotter +a gazillion
Oops its morning. Oops there is so much sexual tension that everyone feels the awks. Then Hodaya finally does something worthwhile for the first time ever and kisses Avri! And he totally kisses back! AMAZING! We cheered. And then she leaves leaving us all wondering what comes next WE CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT EPISODE. +1 billion
Dear Sephardi man trio, We love you. Even though you devise weird tests to decide if a woman is worth it, you known when you have been mean and the intervention they stage at the end is really, really hilars and so is Yifat’s face when they call come in. The head of the trio deserves a leading role. We love this plotline and how Amir is getting in touch with his Sephardi side–much better than becoming a weird Carlebachian hippie, which he almost did last season. +20
When old Sephardi Man and Amir were bonding, Amir explains how he never got in touch with his Tunisian side because he’s always just been Asheknazified, etc. This is really interesting and perhaps says something about ethnic relations in dati leumi land. Also, you can hear this disappointment when Amir says his wife is Ashkenazit and the old man looks sad but says: its most important that she’s good. Nice save, old man. Unfortunately it takes a beat for Amir to answer that she IS good. A little too telling. +5
Magical Sephardi Gabbais are the new Magical Negroes. +30. I can’t wait to see what kind of hijinks they get into
Unlike Michal from last week who claims she is such a feminist and doesnt demand an explanation why Nati dumped her, Reut takes business into her own hands and DEMANDS that Roi tells her the truth because clearly he’s been holding something back. Reut is so wonderful this episode and just gets SLAMMED. Also, she says really great things that need to be said when she’s pissed: 1. You are more like Nati than I thought. (pretty much the worst insult ever.) and 2. Why the hell do you go out with girls? +25 because the worst stuff happens to the best girls, and we really hope Reut gets some closure and another hot man soon because she is great.
Faker than Avri aging 10 years in six months
Really, do women lie about their age? Uch. That’s so cliche. Also, Hodaya what did you think that degree in Bible would get you? Anything OTHER than a waitressing job? And being a cougar is cool now, you should own it-15
Also, Reut wouldn’t be ashamed to say she bought soup or got it from someone else. She’s a career woman, dammit. -10
Yifat makes Hodaya’s birthday on her Hebrew birthday to show how she is different that Hodaya’s secular friend. Does different mean so freaking annoying? We hope not. -5 for that lame move
Amir is kinda a douche in this episode. He is mean to Yifat when all she does is ASK about his weird chazzanut music and the egg test is so weird, but we are glad that he eventually comes around when she just eats the damm egg instead of putting it back or complaining like the old man predicted. Also clearly you have a lot to learn because you mispronounced the food thing (what was that? Shayna says its a squash and couscous thing–her sephardi friend told her) and everyone made fun of you-10
What does Yifat do exactly? She seems like she is trapped in the apartment 24/7. Also does she not go to shul on Shabbat? If Amir has been at Sephardi shul for 3 weeks wouldn’t she know? -10
Moreover, why does the end seem to celebrate Yifat for being able to be a good wife who prepares the right refreshments for people? (Shoutout to little E) -5 because we all know career women who just freakishly become stepford wives after marriage
When the random guy in the Ashkenazi shul asks where Amir has gone, he uses the term “frenk”. This is an old-school derogatory term for Sephardim. (Sarah, flagged this as a word she didn’t know to look up) Really, Israeli who looks like he immigrated from America in the past 5 years? Way to be way racist and not even use up to date nasty epithets. But I guess we have to excuse him in the way we uncomfortably laugh when our old relatives make nasty comments about Obama being a secret Muslim or whatever, so only -5
Right after Hodaya kisses the most perfect man in the whole entire world, she goes right back to Asaf and acts all lovey dovey. WTF? have you no shame? Dear Laizy, just because you are secular doesn’t mean you have no morals– its still cheating. Also, ewww. ewwww. Asaf is so gross. Good job, Hodaya now we have to feel bad for him because he bought you Krembo and you kissed Booo. Ewwww. -100
Would Roi really plan on coming out to Reut over coffee in an Emek cafe? That’s the equivalent of coming out to the entire Bitza. He had to have at least planned for some crying and yelling and should have done it in private. -10
The dirty little secret of this episode is that being gay doesn’t mean you are a good person. Roi is just awful in this episode as he attempts to bring down everyone around him. He is mean to Nati (ok that’s probably deserved) but worst of all, he is mean to Reut and she is the best. There are many ways he could have dealt with this better. Roi, deal with your own feelings before you become the gay version of big bro–no one wants that. Also we know it creates suspense but the show ended and it was so tense! We can’t handle that much stress for a week -10
This episode was a rollacoaster. Reut and Roi broke our hearts but Avri warmed our loins (jk- sort of). We are hoping in next episode Reut will embrace Roi as her top gay and they will become the Will and Grace of Katamon and that Avri comes back, forever. Also, Shayna saw the Eyes Wide Open (with Avri!) and it was amazing, if not a bit confusing to see Avri with payos. Go see it if you live in NYC.
Till next week,