BREAKING NEWS: Laizy Shapiro is engaged. Hearts will be broken everywhere, but if anyone deserves love it is the guy who promotes gay men to marry straight women. Mazel tov laizy! No, we don’t know who the girl is. Yes, we wish we did. Yes, we only know because Shayna is FB friends with Laizy. (True Story)
Now back to your regularly scheduled recap
Realer than an eight year old taking the bus by himself in Israel and no one batting an eye
We forgot how hot Dudi was. And how uncomfortable Reut is around him. Elisheva and Dudi are like the vapid couple with the perfect life you hate but secretly want to be. +15 Because of course you need to bring a guy to visit your new sister’s baby– even a gay one.
Meir’s “fall” was unsurprising, although it is hard to believe this is the first time. The fact that Roi went straight to assuming the web was his down fall was very revealing the “the internet IS for (gay) porn” + 20
Also, it was painful to watch the wife explain how her husband was “away.” So sad. Because its easy to forget how the straight women often get very hurt. See: Brokeback Mountain, Yossi and Jagger.
Who goes around offering apples to everyone you see? Oh wait, your friend’s overly frum mom. Hodaya’s mom was super cute and even if she was totally out of line by dropping in on Yifat, it is what any overly concerned parent would do. +5
(Also, not like Shayna is obsessive or anything, but Hodaya’s mom was the mom in Eicha, Laizy’s short film aka his senior thesis at Maaleh….See here: Yerushalyim, come to the table! Hehehe.)
Yifat was an amazing friend to Hodaya this episode. Defending her to her Mom, dealing with all of Hodaya’s super crazy accusations +30. Because you may be a judgmental biyatch sometimes but you have your friend’s back when it counts.
Assaf avoiding Hodaya instead of just telling her, he wants to be frum again is a typical guy move. Why discuss the problem if you can ignore it? (Do we sound bitter?) +10 especially because Elie called that he would refrum weeks ago
Dafna, thanks for finally explaining to Nati that his behaviors have consequences. Men of the World, listen up +100 because you can’t “try”, you have to do. Even when the lady doesn’t have a kid.
But even Strong Women have their secrets, like eating chocolate bars late at night. +10 because we are especially wondering what Dad did to go to jail because we would cry at night and eat Pesek Zman too
Roi davening on the roof was really beautiful. He’s kinda a tool, but at least he loves Hashem. + 10
It is a known, universal rule that the only real use for hospital gloves is to blow them up and play with them–a game for men of all ages. +15 for showing us yet again that Nati is an overgrown child
Father-son learning nights..oh how the religious world can be utterly insensitive to non-traditional families. So true. + 5
But they do have nice prizes! + only 5 because girls never get to win Mp3 players
Nati thinks he can buy affection. +10 because of course he does
Faker than Dossim in Tel Aviv
Did anyone else want Meir to be better looking? we don’t understand, aren’t all gays Fabulous?
When Hoadya’s mom made a surprise visit Yifat had her hair covered, when Hodaya came over she had it uncovered. That’s a little to calculated, even for Yifat. – 10
Uchh, who davens Kabbalat Shabbat out loud when there are only 2 of you are you are over the age of 15. If you care that much, go to shul -20
Ok, maybe we can buy the fact that the clown’s kid manages to ditch school and get to the hospital without anyone noticing he seems precocious. But would Nati really take him around all day. Doesn’t he need to do surgery at some point? Wouldn’t he wonder where clown mom is the whole day? -10 because if he pulls the same shit he did with the engaged girl, we’ll promise to stop thinking he’s cute
Also, wouldn’t Dafna hide the fact that she goes on dates every five seconds from her kid? -5 because he is freakishly smart
Also, we love Nati being awesome because it is, well, awesome (ohad knoller we looooove you) but it is hard to believe he would fall in love with this kind so fast. Going to a father-son learning session? Wouldn’t commitment-phobe Nati freak out? -10
It is not surprising Hodaya is a dog walker. It is surprising she has managed to hold down a job for more than a day. – 20
The whole Hodaya walking against the current of the synagogue goers as she makes her way to the Tel Aviv sheirut was a little much. Couldn’t she have just texted Amit that she was coming. Also we know Assaf’s friend is frum, so why wouldn’t she assume that he was doing something Shabbat related at his house. -20
Assaf’s freind is creepy. When he answered the phone to Hodaya and said Assaf was there but couldn’t come to the phone we half expected the camera to pan to Assaf tied up in the kitchen. -20
So Roi is kind of an Asshat, we guess that is not surprising considering he is Nati’t brother but does he at any time consider Reut’s feelings in this episode. It seems like she is doing him the favor by saving him from his gayness he could at least show up with a freaking camera! -40
Reut, your boyfriend likes sleepovers with no touching and minimal snuggling, preceded by davening and crying on the roof. -100 because GET A CLUE
Does no one have a cellphone camera? -20 because unless they all buy their phones from the used-phone shop on King George (like Sarah did) their cameras were not made in the nineties.
There was no Amir this episode. And we liked it. -100 because when you are celebrating the lack of Amos Tammam something is wrong.
There are 4 more episodes of the season (according to L-squared) and a lot that needs to be accomplished– Yifat and Amir need to get preggers, Roi needs to come out and Hodaya needs to be put on some bipolar meds!