And we are back!!! It has been quite a while since we joined the Srugim clan for Friday night dinner and we were suffering from withdrawal. Luckily, Laizy must have hired a social media firm, because the show has been teasing us for months with clips, photos and contests- a make your own kippa contest, really?
So let’s get caught up. Last season ended with Yifat and Amir heading toward splitsville- or at least intensive couple’s therapy, Nati getting his heart stomped on by a clown, Hodaya still being a hot mess, but a hot mess with a job, and Reut and Roii are finally donzo. And so after such a long wait to find out what happens- WE GOT THE ANSWERS TO ALMOST NONE OF THESE QUESTIONS. Just like last season, the show skips ahead a few months- how was Yifat and Amir’s marriage magically fixed? We need to know! Last season we had faith that all would be explained in subsequent episodes, but now we know better. Laizy, why are you doing this to us? Ok we are under control. Now on to the main event- reality index season 3 episode 1!
Realer than crying on Israeli public transport and no one batting an eye
First of all, we have to salute Nati for playing the Dead Mom Card with that crazy marriage minded psycho Miri. It is a known rule that having a Dead Parent has the cache of a certain get out of jail free card. Note how when she asks if they can visit his parents for Shabbat, he only mentions his dead mother and not his very alive father and crazy Frenchie stepmother in a successful changing of the subject. Well done Nati. We wouldn’t want to visit them either, with or without Miri. +100
Nati never orders for Miri because he knows he would never get it right and she would legit kill him for forgetting to make it skim, or whatever. She is totally that girl whose Aroma order takes 15 minutes to say. Also, Nati seems to have a thing for redheads. (Maklochet, Sarah kind of likes Miri in the Taylor Townson/Paris Geller kind of way- will we see her again?) +25
We love the crazy poet. LOVE HIM. Everyone knows that one crazy artist who is talented but an awful person to be around and yet such a train wreck that you can’t stop being friends with him. He is also the most Israeli of the characters with his absolute refusal to obey any rules, especially ones that involve chain smoking. The show seemed to hint that Reut might be his man. But we are not so sure how much we like this. On the other hand, at least he’s straight and not from Mercaz HaRav. #zing! +50
Poets drinking weird alchohol at all hours of the day! (what the heck is fig arak?) Because if you could, you know you would. +5
Everyone makes fun of the segula challah but secretly eats it when no one looking. We’ve all been there, Hodaya. Eat those carbs. +20
Texting during davening girl–please be our best friend. Ulpana is rough. +10 Special bonus points for liking how mean Hodaya is to her students, especially because she is clearly overcompensating.
As secular as one becomes, you always clop the table to remind people its rosh hodesh. Every datlash has annoying habits they will never get rid of. Ever. +10 What’s yours? For example, Shayna has all these annoying habits from her NCSY days, like crying during Acheinu for no reason.
Of course the car mechanic sold you a lemon. Obviously, and obviously Amir was dumb about it and he wrecked the car in the first place. Plus 5 for character consistency.
Also the mechanic was totally playing you this time, have you not heard of bargaining? No points.
We love Tamar Ross Ulpana Lady! Stay mean. Everyone knows Amir may be hot, but he is just kind of mediocre, especially in his understanding of human biology. +50
AVRI!!! We love how they recreated how Hodaya and Avri first met, and how really realistic and truly awful it is to run into the soon to be married and perfect ex. Damm, you are hot. We really hope this isn’t the end of Avri! The segula challah must work! But since the preview seemed to indicate he had other scenes, we hope Hodaya become a major homewrecker. You have a month, get it going! Time to get cracking. +1000
Hodaya’s mean secular friend likes Madness, a band we had never heard and we had to look them up on the Internets to find out about them, learning that (from Wkipedia, obvs) “They were one of the most prominent bands of the late-1970s 2 Tone ska revival..” Didn’t all those annoying Israelis move to the Village to annoy Shayna? Well there must be some annoying hipster Israelis still left in Israel. See you at Sabon or at a mall kiosk soon. Or is this to make up for all those artist boycotts? Zing! + 10
Amir has a Shopping Problem! Love it. Get that man registered at BabiesRUs stat.
We knew from the second Hottie Tehila ex walked in that Nati would tap that. Stay classy, Nati. This is why we keep you around. Seriously,the look when Nati opened the door to Tehila was the skeeviest thing we ever saw. We half expected the lights to dim and Marvin Gaye to start blasting. +30
Amir of course has to ask how Yifat got pregnant. OMG maybe its not his baby? Wahoo Nati-Yifat love child!!! + 10
Israelis love roommates. Nati is a thirty-something year old doctor – and granted we know doctors do not make so much in Israel but he could still afford to live in on his own somewhere instead of being forced to take in some random-o you don’t really like. No points, just real.
Someone wished Amir Mazel Tov when he was carrying a car seat on the bus. This would totally happen. Oh, Israel. Especially because this reminds Shayna of the first time that someone handed her a baby and went to the front to pay and Shayna thought that she had a baby now like for good for five minutes until the lady came back. Israelis love babies! +15
Faker then Nati not wanting whipped cream on his coffee
Yifat makes moussaka, NOT zucchini quiche. Or maybe she had to get a new dish because Nati is allergic to eggplants and we know that she will always love him? Hmm, draw.
Ok, how awesome is Yifat in this epiosde? She is reacting normal to her pregnancy, she doesn’t mind that Hodaya cancels on her for Friday night dinner and then later just shows up, and she is supportive of Amir’s quitting. The old Yifat would have thrown five shit fits by now. This is some hard core invasion of the body snatchers going on. -40
Wow Amir. Just wow. You are a language teacher– and that is awesome–but why would you ever think you would jump from that to Rav of the Ulpana? You aren’t even a Moreh Tanach. -500
But that look of pure disgust on Ulpana-Tamar Ross’ face is priceless. OMG what if Hodaya, using her totally useless Bible degree, ends up becoming head of the school! We would watch that show. No points.
Where is Roi? No one even mentions him, he has just been “disappeared” from Nati’s apartment. Is he on a Jonah retreat? (too soon?) Did he come out and is now living it up in Gay Tel Aviv. The people need to know. -1,000
Hodaya’s secular friend bails but she can always count on her dati friends being there.This is a lesson repeated again and again in this series: Secular people are bad and will fail you but the frummies will always be there with a zemer! -30 Also remember last season (was it the premiere?) Hodaya was invited for dinner and there was a huge fight over her datlashiness? Now everyone is totally cool with her heresy. Character growth people, we love it!
Ok, seriously. What happened between Yifat and Amir in the past few months to turn them into lovebirds? Was it A. Couples improv classes. B. private sessions with Rav Shapira. C. love advice from the magical Sephardim. Or D. Emotional numbness masquerading as happiness? Spill the beans! -1,000
Reut, she pops up long enough for us to be reminded yet again she has an awesome job and is some kind of financial wizard (The only way Sarah can understand finance is thinking its magic). And she has the best excuse for not bringing anything to Friday night dinner. Sorry, it burned! We must start using that. (Again, Sarah will, Shayna loves making quiche). We really hope this is the season of love for Reut. she deserves it! -70
Let’s get real- datlash Hodaya would def not be allowed to teach in the ulpana. If there is anything religious educational institutions fear the most, it is students being exposed to other acceptable lifestyle choices. -100
Nati, we will BUY YOU A SHABBOS LAMP. Stop reading in the bathroom. What is with that? Although, plus some points for character consistency. Draw.
Amir and Hodaya seem awfully close this episode, their conversations in school, the look of delight on his face when she comes to Friday night dinner. We wish he would have stayed a little longer at the school, who knows what would have happened? #justsayin.
so we are primed for this season– new poet-alcoholic seems awesome! And we hear there are more new characters on the way. As always comments welcome!