Srugim Season 3 Episode 13: Srugim Steals A Couch

Just as we were writing this, Israel Breit’s (aka Azarya) new song came on Galaglatz. We write this as Azarya serenades us, but we won’t be fooled! We hate you. Anyway, this week Azarya ditches Hodaya and her Couch, Avri (kind of) returns, Reut continues to be a Good Sister, Tehila spills the beans, and Nati! Our man of the hour! He almost falls, and then proposes!! Clearly Laizy and the Srugim crew are setting us up for some crazy endings. The last two episodes are going to be AWESOME. On to the recap!

Realer than academic conferences being dens of sin and inequity

No Yifat and Amir. Not even a little bit! That was kind of nice. We are kind of sick of pregnant people ever since the birth of Blue Ivy Carter–that baby is Mashiach, we swear. +10

Wowza. Thailand. Pregnancies. Abortions. Dutch People. Srugim is going out Dallas-style crazy. We like it. +15

“Do these things happen to a lot of chiloni women?” Ok, this is what we call in the world of feminist blogging “slut-shaming” and we are not fans. But we do totally believe Nati would react that way- he basically started crying when he saw a picture of Tehilla in a tank top. +50

If we weren’t convinced Avri was perfect, he does laundry for his mom and tries to get her to take care of herself. +100000000

But adorable chain smoking Ima won’t have any of it. She just tells him to get married. +400

When Nati puts on the tefilin and says the verses about betrothing you with righteousness, etc and then he proposes in the next scene, IT IS THE BEST FORESHADOWING EVER. +1 billion. Also, Shayna wants those verses on her wedding invitation. #notlikeshesplanneditoranything.

Also we like that Nati says the Bracha for distinguishing between day and night. Nice symbolism, team. +5

We guess it was good that Nati didn’t go to the beach with the hotties. I guess he is still religious deep down inside. But man, think of how fun that scene would have been? Srugim goes mixed swimming!! +15

At first when Avinoam AKA Dr. Strangelove was getting excited about going to the Crowne Plaza we thought he meant the one in Jerusalem which is super lame. But the one at the Dea Sea is nice. So props for that.  +30

Also Avinoam is Nati’s Yestzer Hara (His better looking Yetzer Hara) +100

Academic conference session names are the best!!! +110

HODAYA ALWAYS FINDS STUFF IN THE STREET. That is her “thing”. +5,000

Her conversation with Azarya reminded us that they are both incredibly annoying. They should get married and be selfish and irresponsible together. +10

We are not going to lie, we have been to conferences and they are all about hooking up. And yes, everyone is that awkward. AJS AFTERPARTY FOREVER.

At conferences, making fun of speakers is a totally legit pick up line. Trust us, we’ve been there. Ahh, memories. +40

We know there is sad music playing when Nati is in the hotel watching TV by himself but hotels are awesome and that sounds like an amazing afternoon. +80

Hodaya would definitely recline Cleopatra style in the middle of the street on a red sofa and expect people will be dazzled into helping her. And of course it goes with out saying that she has absolutely no where else she needs to be. +65

Old people!! They are the greatest. +1,000

All we could think as Hodya was calling Avri was you are not seriously doing this? WTF is wrong with you.  Stay true to form Hodaya!  +8

Avri helps the random guy who blew off Hodaya when she tried to flirt with him to get him to carry the couch. We can tell who was the giver and the taker in that relationship. +70

Jews from Toronto!! Shoutout !! We aren’t from Toronto, but we love Toronto Jews.  Yay for helping Israeli doctors shamelessly hook up with each other. Zionism lives. +10

Dr. Strangelove suggests that maybe you can make Michal be Frum. We also talk like that. If only it worked! +7

When Reut pushes her niece around in her stroller, we swear we can hear her biological clock ticking. Or was that ours? +5

It was cute that the old couple both made them them think of the other. And Avri was adorable sitting on his red sofa at the end. Look if he wants to take on her crazy, he is more than welcome to. Just don’t complain when she goes into a fugue state and you find her wandering around the streets of Safed. +20

Ok, another mention of Avri. It’s been too long. We miss you. +800

Its nice that even though Dudi is in the wrong, the character of the sister is the same- she is annoying and depends on Reut way too much. Luckily Reut is too awesome for anyone to fire her– and she knows it. +30

And the episode again lets us know- Ruet is strong and independent and that is why she is alone.

Everytime the jingle for Azarya’s radio show plays an angel gets its wings. +90

You shouldn’t be called Azarya becasue you don’t help anyone. ZING. BEST LINE EVER. +2,000

Faker than everyone always listening to the same radio program:

Nati, pretend to be empathetic and feel bad for Tehila. Just a little bit. Pretend Tehila is Geveret Shvartzman. -100 .

This made us like Tehila more. Uh Oh. -100.

Hodaya, you really thought Azarya would help you? Do you not talk to Reut, ever?

And her worst sin- she left the water bottle and coffee cup on the sofa!! A garbage was actually right behind her. Hodaya, you are even letting mother earth down. -10

Reut found the sucker. Just like in real life, always finding the sucker. Ok, we tried, It doesn’t really work. But you get it. Wash.

Announcement: People who say it’s a mitvzah to be happy, even if you are a hot secular doctor–we hate you. -50

Ugh, even if its from a hot member of the opposite sex, we hate when secular people tell us exactly what level of religious strictures you do and don’t keep. Honestly, we don’t care, so don’t get all taxicabs confessions on us. Just go eat your mussels. -25

Dudi, wherever you are, you suck. We understand Elisheva needed to go back and Reut was being a bit harsh, but..you suck.  We hope you stay married, only for Elisheva’s sake. And you better ignore that secretary bitch. -18

Ok sorry, but there is no way Michal the cardiologist was a doctor. She was model hot not doctor hot. Maybe she sneaks into medical conferences to find young cardiologists to ply with alcohol and mussels and make him her husband. -100

Nothing is more annoying when frum people try to organize you to do things and you feel guilty saying no, like that guy getting Nati for mincha. Or when the time Shayna was on a plane to Israel and a charedi lady asked her to do a “mitzvah” by switching seats with her son. We estimate this is a leading cause of datlash-ness. #shouldawornpants

Nati is primping! (He should have kept the jacket) Uh. Oh. Shit just got real. We seriously thought he would do this, and are pretty shocked he didn’t. Has Nati gone soft? Or was this whole thing a big act for all three seasons, and we got a case of the 33 year old virgin on our hands? -100

Random kid who gets Hodaya coffee, watch out. That woman will curse you. -5

It makes us sad that Reut no longer confides in her sad sack secretary. Not sure why, but it does. Memoriessssssssssssssss. -60

Doesn’t Hodaya teach or something? Why does no one work? Ever? -4,000

After Azarya promises he will be there in an hour, the camera zooms in on some booze, reminding us that Azarya is drunk in the middle of the day. Dude, you got issues. -90

If Nati left the hotel at night and then davened in the desert the next morning, where the hell did he spend the night? In his car? We find that hard to believe.  But that was some nice cathartic davening. -70

Floppy hair!!!!!! We hate you. Yes, you are so sketchy that you would hit on the married secretary. And there are other reasons for getting to work at 11 other than dating.. Ugh. But yeah, we would have thought the same thing. Also, can we get a job where we just show up at 11? -9

Ugh slut friends. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. They exist for you to judge and also still manage to make you feel bad about yourself. Watch some more TV and dull the pain. -6

That ending!!!! OMG what a cliffhanger!!! No points, just saying. Also, does this mean Nati and Reut won’t get together? Sadface.

So, We are down to the final two. How are you getting ready? We are stockpiling large amounts of tissues and mousaka to tide us through.